Chimichangas and Bad Guys
by Packersfan12
Summary: The title really says it all! Bradley Sleven decides to take Deadpool into her 'humble abode' for a week while he is in New York. The ensuing events are ones she never expected to be a part of, and ones she'd likely never forget. On the up side, she earns a bestie for life and a new appreciation for chimichangas and cheesey puffs. Deadpool/O.C.
1. Chapter 1

The first time Bradley Sleven met Deadpool, she had thought he was a pretty great guy. He was funny and easy to get along with in the small time frame she had had with him. Bradley was an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D, holding no special 'super powers' or 'special abilities', only a keen eye for targets and a wicked trigger finger. She could shoot almost anything, from a compound bow to an Anzio 20mm Sniper Cannon.

She had met Thor, Steve Rodgers, Tony Stark, and Peter Parker, had the pleasure of working with Hawkeye, went out on the town frequently with Natasha Romanoff, and had been best friends with Phil Coulson. She was pretty popular around the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, but when it came to Nick Fury, he liked to stick her with the odd jobs and things no one wanted to do.

That's where Deadpool came in.

Fury had confronted her about the mercenary, asking if he could stay for just a week in Bradley's flat, since she had no 'significant others' to occupy her time with. He was in town for the week, doing a job for Fury, and needed a place to stay where they could keep a close eye on him. Apparently he was a wild child with an eye for babes, booze, and chimichangas.

Unknowing of just how crazy Deadpool was, Bradley had told Fury he was welcome in her flat. Fury had sighed, visibly relieved, and had disappeared to tell Deadpool the good news.

Bradley hadn't known why they couldn't have just booked a hotel for Deadpool, being that he was only there for a week, but the thought of some company for a while made her happy.

The one thing Fury didn't tell her, though, was that Deadpool's other famous name was Merc with a Mouth, something she'd find out all too soon.

"Hey Bradley," Hawkeye greeted as they passed each other in the hall, Bradley on her way to fetch Deadpool, "Natasha was looking for you."

"Do you know what she wanted?" Bradley asked.

"She didn't specify, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with appletinis and strawberry daiquiris." Hawkeye smiled, little dimples appearing.

"My favorite." Bradley said, returning his smile, "But I have a guest staying for the week, so I should probably keep him occupied."

"Oh? A guest, huh." Hawkeye waggled his eyebrows, "What kind of guest? A _boyfriend_ guest?"

"A work guest." Bradley said.

"Oh sure." Hawkeye winked, "Who are you having over?"

"Deadpool. Fury asked if I would take him in and I told him yes because I don't have anything better to do." Bradley shrugged.

Hawkeye blinked and then burst out laughing, "You said you'd have _Deadpool_ as a guest? What's wrong with you?"

Bradley felt her face get red in humiliation, "What?"

"Deadpool?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yes!" Bradley said angrily, "What's so funny?"

"You have no idea what kind of mistake you made." Hawkeye said, wiping his eyes, "No one can stand Deadpool. Fury's asked almost everyone on the helicarrier if they'd take Deadpool home and everyone's said no."

"Really?" Bradley asked, "Is he mean?"

"Oh no, he's really friendly." Hawkeye said, "But he doesn't shut up. Ever. Even when he sleeps. The only time I've heard him stop talking was when he was eating, but that was for five seconds."

"Great." Bradley muttered, "Why didn't anyone warn me about this? I mean, I met him before and he seemed okay. He was funny."

"Oh he's a riot." Hawkeye agreed, "He's the person you go to when you want to have a wild party night. Want a bachelor party you'll never forget? Go to him. He's just the sort of person that doesn't know what personal space is or when not to cross the line."

"Well, I mean, how bad can he be?" Bradley asked, trying to reassure herself, "He doesn't sound that bad."

Hawkeye grinned, "I'll tell Natasha next time I see her that you won't be coming out tonight."

"Thanks Hawk." She said, slapping his shoulder.

"Good luck, kid." He winked, and then continued on his way.

Bradley silently cursed her bad luck and reassured herself that Deadpool wouldn't be so bad. She continued down the length of the helicarrier halls to the room he was waiting for her in.

When she opened the door, he wasn't there. She entered the room and looked around to make she he was, in fact, not in the room. She sighed, and started pulling a chair out from the table to sit in, when she heard a soft tap on the floor behind her and suddenly someone shouted, "Boo!"

"Oh...lanta!" She said in surprise, leaning forward away from the noise. She turned around to find Deadpool with his hands on his hips, laughing. She sighed, feeling her face growing as red as his suit and said monotonously, "Deadpool. Where did you come from?"

"Bradley." He mimicked, "I was on top of the door." he pointed to the top of the open door, "I just want to extend my sincere thanks for letting me stay in your humble abode." He held out his hand for her to shake, while simultaneously bowing.

"Oh, um, sure no problem." Bradley said, shaking his hand, "I mean, it's only a week right?"

"I took the liberty of researching your surroundings via google earth, and found you have a lovely neighborhood." Deadpool said, "Good choice."

"I try?" She said, unsure of what to say, "Are you ready to go?"

"Am I ready to go? _Am I ready to go_?" He shouted, then in a calm manner said, "Yes,

yes I am. Lead the way."

"Okay." Bradley sighed, leading him out of the waiting room.

Once down on the ground, Bradley lead him through the streets of New York. Fury hadn't been thrilled about the idea of letting Deadpool roam around the big city, but she'd convinced him they'd be fine and it would be a good thing for Deadpool. He was like a little kid, peering into shops and disappearing only to be found by Bradley at a hot dog stand.

They got odd looks from mostly everyone they passed, mostly because of Deadpool's

insanely bright red outfit, and possibly because of the two katanas strapped to his back. She had eyed them for long enough and finally asked, "What's with the swords? Aren't you a mercenary? All the mercenaries I know use guns."

"Oh, these?" Deadpool asked, swiftly pulling them out right in front of everyone, blades glinting in the lowering sun, "This is Betty," he put one of the swords in her face, "and Lawrence."

"Deadpool!" Bradley said, pushing the swords down, "You can't just whip those out in public!"

"Why not? They're mine. My own. _My precious_." Deadpool said, putting a hand on his hip, sword sticking out behind him.

Bradley smiled apologetically at a group of passersby, and said, "Because people aren't used to this kind of thing. Put them away!" and after a moment she muttered, "Did you just quote the Lord of the Rings?"

Deadpool humphed, and put them back into the scabbards, and stretched, "Can we swap life stories when we get to your place? Maybe make hot cocoa and watch Sex in the City?"

"One, I don't have Sex in the City, and two, why would you even want to watch that?" Bradley asked, "It's one of the girliest movies I can think of."

"I just want to be besties for life." Deadpool said, crossing his fingers, "You know, bros before hoes, chicks before di-"

"I get it." Bradley interrupted.

"Will you be my friend?" Deadpool asked, falling to his knees "Will you be my bro before my hoe? Please say yes!"

Bradley stared at his kneeling form, and then looked up to find four people staring at them from a booth on the other side of restaurant window. She smiled, and said through her teeth, "If I say yes will you stand up?"

"Cross my heart."

"Yes, Deadpool, I will be your bro." Bradley muttered.

"Pinky promise?" Deadpool asked, sticking up his pinky.

"Pinky promise." Bradley said, hooking their pinkies.

"Great!" Deadpool shouted, jumping to his feet, "Now can we please get to your place? Jeesh, talk about chatter box over here."

She bit back the words she wanted to say to him, and continued walking before stopping on a curb. She whistled and held out her hand to hail a taxi. When it stopped she turned to Deadpool and said, "Get in."

"A cab?" He asked, "Does it look like I take cabs?"

"What's wrong with a cab?" Bradley asked exasperatedly.

"They're stuffy, dirty, smell bad, and_ hello_ germs!" Deadpool said, and crossed his arms, "And one out of a thousand cab drivers are murders. I bet you didn't know that."

Bradley stuck her head in the passenger window and asked, "Are you a murderer?"

"No! Now are you gonna get in the car or what? I got other people I can pick up. Money ain't growin' on trees lady." The cab driver said.

"There, he's not a murder." Bradley said.

"Of course he's not going to tell you he's a murderer if he is one!" Deadpool exclaimed, "And he's got horrible manners…"

"Just get in the taxi, Deadpool!" Bradley shouted.

"Okay, jeesh, Ms. Antsy Pants." Deadpool muttered.

Bradley slid in next to him and told the taxi driver where to go. Deadpool chatted away about something Bradley didn't know because she wasn't listening. All she could hear was his voice, the words blurring together. Hawkeye had been right, the guy didn't know how to stop talking.

"D-do you ever shut up?" Bradley asked finally, interrupting his compelling story about the time he ate fifty hot wings in one sitting, "Like, every in your life?"

Deadpool cocked his head, "Um, no, hello I have stories to tell you. If you're going to be my bestie I totes need to tell you everything about me!"

"Not all at one time though." Bradley said, "Your bestie needs a break. And since we're besties, I feel I need to share with you my feelings."

"Oh! I_ love_ sharing my feelings." Deadpool exclaimed.

"No, no, no, _my_ feelings." Bradley said, "I need a break from your...exciting life."

"You really think my life is exciting?" Deadpool hugged her, "You're the best bestie I've ever had!"

Bradley patted his back, "You are too."

"Hold up!" Deadpool shouted, "Stop the car! _Stop the car_!" The taxi driver came to a screeching halt, and Deadpool bounded out of it and dropped to his knees on the sidewalk, throwing his arms sky high, "Thank you kind spirit!"

Bradley shelled out some money to the cab driver before exiting her side to where Deadpool kissed the sidewalk, "What in sam hill are you doing?"

"Do you not see the fine establishment in front of you?" Deadpool sniffed, mock wiping a tear from his face, "It was sent by the Gods."

Bradley looked up to find a bright red neon sign that read, Fred's Chimichangas. She frowned, "A fast food place?"

"A fast food place? Is that all this is to you?" Deadpool asked, rising to his feet, "This is so much more than a fast food place. I'm disappointed in you bestie."

"I'm sorry?"

"A bestie of mine should always see a five star opportunity when it's in front of them." Deadpool said, pointing at the restaurant.

"Okay, since I just met you why don't you tell me what opportunity I'm looking at." Bradley said, "We've only been besties for a half an hour."

"Okay, I think I can forgive you this time." Deadpool said, "It's called Fred's Chimichangas. _Chimichangas_! Do you know what kind of gift chimichangas are?"

"One from the Gods?" Bradley asked.

"Yes!" Deadpool exclaimed, throwing his arms up, "See, you're learning."

In the end, Deadpool got four chimichangas, two for that night, and two for the next day. They walked the rest of the block to Bradley's flat and when she opened the door, Deadpool swept inside looking around. He sat his half eaten chimichangas on the island in the middle of her kitchen and said, "Okay, so in order for me to sleep, I need a relaxing seaweed wrap with herb infused scent. I need warm milk, but not too warm, and I need-"

"Deadpool."

"Yes?"

"I have none of that, so don't expect to see it." Bradley said, "I'm sorry."

Deadpool sighed, "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Take a shower? Go to sleep like normal people?"

"Oh come on, Brad," Deadpool wined.

"Bradley." She said, "If you ever call me Brad again I'll stab you with Lawrence."

Deadpool put a hand to his heart and said, "Besties don't say that to each other. You promised we would be besties."

"We will be besties, but my name is Bradley, not Brad." Bradley said, "What's your name, besides Deadpool?"

He sniffed, "I don't really tell that to people."

"But..I'm your bestie." Bradley said, sitting on the stool next to him.

"Wade." Deadpool said softly after a moment, "Wade Wilson."

It was the first time since she'd met him that he'd actually sounded sane, "But you want me to call you Deadpool?"

"Yes, like you want me to call you Bradley." Deadpool said, and for a moment he was silent, and...normal. Then he snapped out of it and looked at the island in her kitchen and hopped on top of it, "Let's have a partay!"

"No, no parties." Bradley said, "I don't...partay."

"Oh come on, just imagine babes all over the place. And hot guys too, for you of course. Everyone would be dancing and we could have a disco ball." Deadpool started shaking his hips and started singing, "You know my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction, the tension, don't you see baby, this perfection." He continued to dance while Bradley watched on in shocked silence.

"I don't want to know why you know that song." Bradley muttered, walking into her living room. She plopped down onto the couch and flipped the TV on. Days of our Lives was the first thing to pop up, and suddenly she heard, "Like sands in an hourglass, so are the days of our lives."

She turned around to see him staring out the window dramatically with a hand over his chest. He turned to her and said, "This show though." and again mocked wiping tears.

"Don't you have rapidly cooling chimichangas in the kitchen?"

"My chimichangas!" Deadpool cried, flinging himself across the room to the kitchen. After a moment he called, "Hey bestie?"

"_What_ Deadpool?" She asked without turning around.

"Well one, why don't you ever call me bestie back, and two, are there always scary bulky guys in black masks in your house?"

Bradley whirled to find Deadpool with a chimichanga stuffed in his mouth, his mask pulled up just above his nose. He started laughing and slapping his knee, "You should have seen your face!"

"That's not funny Deadpool!" Bradley said angrily, "You scared me."

"Um, that's the point." He said through a mouthful of chimichanga.

She sighed, sitting back down and pinching the bridge of her nose. Fury would definitely be hearing from her in the morning. There was a crash from the kitchen and she heard, "Don't worry, nothing's going on in here!"

Oh, yes, Fury would be hearing from her.

**_This is frighteningly my first attempt ever writing a Deadpool fic. Ever. I just love the guy and thought it would be a fun thing to write. There is a plot, yes, and as the title suggests lots of chimichangas and bad guys involved. So tell me what you think and if it sucks, try to be delicate I'm really bad with criticism! :O_**

**_Thanks for reading, and please review, it makes my day! _**


	2. Chapter 2

Bradley was up bright and early, putting the pot of coffee on. She had poked her head into Deadpool's room to find him sprawled out in bed, a black and red nightcap pulled down over his masked head, a hot pink sleeping mask covering his eyes. She had rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen.

The coffee began to drip, and the sweet aroma filled Bradley's apartment. As if on cue, she heard movement behind her and said, "Good morning Deadpool." without turning around.

"I have a question." He said slowly.

"Hmm?"

"Is this supposed to hurt?"

Bradley frowned and turned around, half expecting him to have found the mousetrap she'd put in the corner of his room. Instead she gasped and dropped to her knees before standing up again and stuttering, "Oh my God, o-okay, holy _fuck_ what did you do?"

He stood before her in his usual spandex, but one of his swords was protruding from his chest, a trickle of blood running down his muscled stomach. He shrugged and said, "Well you see, I like to sleep with Betty by my side just in case, you know, some bad guys showed up. Turns out that may not be such a good idea."

"You stabbed yourself with your sword?" Bradley asked incredulously, "How did you manage to get it in that deep?"

He snorted and she gave him her best 'look of death' before he said, "I just sort of rolled over. Oh," he swooned, catching himself on her island, "I'm getting light headed."

"Maybe because you have a _sword_ coming out of your chest!" Bradley said, frantically running her hands through her hair, "Okay, think Bradley. _No don't touch it_!" she slapped his hand away from the hilt.

"I'm going to pull it out."

"Are you stupid? You can't pull it out you'll die!" Bradley said, "That is the only thing holding all of your blood inside. Oh my God, Fury is going to kill me. And of the two of them, you stabbed yourself with Betty? I for sure thought it'd be Lawrence."

"You and me both." Deadpool muttered.

"Okay, I'm going to call Tony-"

With one swift motion, Deadpool yanked the sword out of his chest, making Bradley gasp. She stared at him open mouthed before shouted, "Did you not just hear what I said?"

But he pointed to his chest, where the wound from the sword was stitching itself closed in front of her eyes. She sputtered and blinked, looking up at him, "What the hell?"

"Healing factor!" Deadpool said in a singsong voice, "I love that prank."

Bradley glared at him, sending a punch into his shoulder, "I thought you were seriously hurt you jackass!"

"You should know by now that serious and I don't go together." Deadpool said, "But it's nice to know you care about me. You're so great."

"I was more afraid of losing my job." She muttered.

"Ouch!" He said, clutching his heart, "Your words wound me."

"Good." she snorted, then said, "So what was that?"

"The world's best prank."

"No, your healing factor, what is it?" Bradley asked, "I've never seen anything like that before."

"Oh," he said, seeming a little disappointed she didn't want to talk about his 'prank', "I don't know, it's a little hard to explain. I just can't die, that's basically everything summed up." He swiped a carving knife out of her knife holder and, before she even knew what he was doing, cut off his index finger. She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. His finger rolled across the counter, and after a moment a new one began to form where he had cut it off.

"What?" Bradley asked, picking up his hand. There was a new finger where the old one had been, as normal looking as hers. She looked into the patches where his eyes were, "That's incredible."

"Then you would be shocked at what happens when I get shot in the head." He said, and she saw the mask move where his mouth would be. She imagined him smiling. "You make enough coffee for me?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you wanted some, so I just made extra in case." She pulled down two cups from her cupboards and said, "You seem more normal today. No offense."

"Yeah," he scratched the back of his head, "there are some days where I get a little loopy." he twirled his finger near his temple to indicate his craziness, "Those days I'm not all there. It's like everything in my head gets jumbled up and I can't think straight."

"You were kind of psychotic, Deadpool."

"Oh I'm always psychotic, some days just more than others." He rested his chin on his hands and said, "Call me Wade, too."

"You said to call you Deadpool."

He shook his head, "Wade, it reminds me that I'm still human."

"Why are you in town?" She asked, "If you're a mercenary, what kind of job would Fury have for you. He doesn't kill people."

He chuckled, "You'd be surprised. And you should know I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to, top secret. Confidential. No siree I ain't telling you." he zipped his mouth shut and threw away the key.

She frowned, "Fine." She moved across the room to grab the cups for coffee, and accidentally bumped one with her hand. It went skittering across the counter and over the edge. In the blink of an eye, Wade caught it midair, and handed it to Bradley.

"How did you do that?"

"A merc never reveals his secrets." He said, crossing his arms, "What are you doing for dinner?"

"I don't know."

"I do."

"What's that?"

"Fred's Chimichangas."

"Why do you like chimichanga's so much?" She asked, filling his cup of coffee, "It's an oversized deep fried burrito that clogs arteries."

He stared at her with his big white patches, "Did you just? No. I don't think I can talk to you anymore." He faced away from her and something in her pantry caught his eye. He jumped up, knocking the stool over and shouted, "Are those cheese balls?"

"Duh, I love cheese balls." She said.

"Who doesn't?" He asked, twisting the jar open and slipping his mask up just over his mouth for him to pop four in at a time. She watched as he did, examining his exposed skin. It was rippled with scars so much she wasn't sure if there was any healthy skin left. He caught her staring and asked, "What?" through a mouthful of cheese balls.

She touched her neck where she could see his scars, "What happened to you?"

He reached up to touch his neck, too, and jerked his hand back like it pained him. With one last cheese ball, he pulled his mask back down and said, "Never ask me that again."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said, feeling her face turn pink. She hadn't thought it would be a touchy subject to him. With a deep breath she asked, "Do you ever take your mask off?"

"No." He said curtly, then threw her a glance and said, "Sometimes when I sleep, usually if I take a shower."

"Why don't you?"

His fists clenched, and she could tell she should stop asking questions. He sighed, "The ladies dig the mask, they say it makes me mysterious. And sexy. I have to agree."

Bradley rolled her eyes and looked at the clock, "Well, I need to start getting ready for an exciting day around the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier."

"I don't know about you, but everyone always seems annoyed all the time. At least when I'm around." The white circles scrunched as he frowned, "I wonder why that is."

_Gee I wonder._ Bradley thought, as she left the kitchen to gather up her S.H.I.E.L.D. clothes. She wasn't exactly sure she felt all too safe in her apartment with Wade around. He had even come out and said he was psychotic, so how stable could he actually be? He seemed ready to jump off of his chair and chop her into little Bradley bits because she asked what had happened to his face. Though, if someone were to ask her what happened to her face, she'd probably be pissed too. Still, her face wasn't scarred as bad as his.

Whatever the case, as soon as they were aboard the helicarrier, Bradley went straight to Fury's office. She pounded three hard knocks on his door, and it cracked open a bit to show Fury peeping out at her with his good eye. She heard him mutter something under his breath, and then he swung the door open and said, "Ms. Sleven, what can I help you with?"

She had made sure her hair was frazzled and the dark circles under her eyes hadn't been covered by her makeup. She stared at him angrily and said through gritted teeth, "What did you give me?"

Fury sighed, "I'm sorry, Bradley, but he had to go somewhere, and you were the first person to say yes."

"Yeah, because I didn't know how psychotic he was!" She exclaimed.

"What did he do now?" Fury asked, as if he didn't want to know.

"He made me promise to be his bestie for life, and he stabbed himself in the chest. I thought he was going to die, and then he just pulls it out and is magically all better! That's the worst prank ever."

"Deadpool has a healing factor that allows him to regenerate any limb he loses and sew shut any wound he receives. It makes him virtually indestructible." Fury said.

"Yeah, well, thank you for telling me that!"

"If he gives you anymore trouble let me know and I'll handle it."

"I don't feel safe." Bradley said, "He gave me the death glare and I can't even see his face! Do you know how terrifying it is to get a death glare from someone with no face?"

"Why did he give you a death glare?"

"I asked him what happened to his face, because he had his masked pulled up enough for him to eat." Bradley said.

Fury stared at her and then shifted his weight, "You can't just ask him what happened to his face, Bradley. That's a major insult to him."

"Well I didn't know that!" Bradley shrugged, "Why is it so bad to ask him that?"

"I don't know, no one's ever asked him. The last person who did, he stabbed in the leg and threw out the window."

"Great." Bradley muttered.

"Something happened to him a long time ago, that's all I know." Fury said, "Whatever it was was so traumatic that it drove him to be this way. Another thing that affects his mood swings is his healing factor, it takes a toll on him whether he says so or not."

"Well, if you don't hear from me tomorrow I was probably stabbed in the leg and thrown out the window." Bradley joked.

"It's not a laughing matter, Bradley." Fury said sternly, "You need to take Deadpool seriously."

"I am, he's just so all over the place. I don't know whether he's here or not. You know, in the head." She tapped her head, "He told me sometimes his thoughts get jumbled up."

"Like I said, I don't know what happened to him, his files have all been destroyed no doubt by Deadpool himself. All I'm saying is that whatever he went through, no living person no matter who they are, should ever have to go through."

Later that day, at lunch, Bradley was sitting at a table by herself, eating the McDonald's Tony had flown in for her. She was reading a Storm of Swords so intently, that she didn't even notice Wade sit down across from her.

"He dies." He said, making Bradley jump two feet off of her seat. She put a hand over her heart and asked, "How do you sneak up on someone like that?"

"A merc never shares his secrets." Wade said, waving his index finger.

She rolled her eyes, closing her book, and asked, "And who dies?"

"Robb, he dies." Wade said, taking a sip of soda through his straw. She noticed his mask was pulled up again, the skin underneath looking like it was mutilated in a fire.

Bradley covered her ears, shaking her head, "I _know_ you did not just tell me Robb Stark dies!" Wade nodded, his lips turned up in a smile. She felt like she was going to cry, "But he can't die! He's my third favorite, and King of the North!"

Wade snorted, "Not anymore."

"Thanks for ruining it." She muttered.

"I tend to do that."

She looked down at his plate, and then back up and him and said, "Are you seriously eating a chimichanga right now?"

"I told you, chimichanga's are the food of the Gods." Wade said, taking a whopping bite out of his chimichanga, "Oh look, a quarter!" he bent down underneath the table to pick it up. As he did, Bradley was able to see past him to find Hawkeye approaching them.

"Hey Bradley." Hawkeye greeted. There was a loud noise that made Bradley jump and the table was lifted off of the ground as Wade's head smacked it. "Ouch." he groaned, rubbing the back of his head, "I got it!"

"Hi Hawkeye." Bradley said, throwing Wade a glance before scooting over to let the other agent sit.

"Deadpool." Hawkeye said, "How's your day?"

"Robin Hood." Wade muttered, "You look good, the sunlight really brings out the highlights in your hair."

"My day's great, thanks." Hawkeye muttered.

"What brings you over here, Hawk?" Bradley asked.

"Just showing someone around the helicarrier." Hawkeye said.

"Who?" Bradley asked, looking around and finding no one.

Someone suddenly dropped next to the table from the ceiling, scaring Bradley half to death, and making Wade cry out in joy. He jumped up and latched onto the person, who stood stiffly, obviously surprised at the gesture. Wade jumped up and down like a fangirl meeting Spiderman.

Bradley had never seen the man before, and his outfit was just as ridiculous as Wade's. He was dressed in all black armor, a red symbol of sorts emblazoned on his upper biceps. Two katanas identical to Wade's were strapped to his back, and a mask blocked her view of his face.

Wade stepped back, mock wiping tears from his face, whispering "My life is complete."

Hawkeye grinned, "Bradley, meet Snake Eyes."

* * *

On the other side of town, a man stepped out of a limo, entering one of his many warehouses on the outskirts of New York. It was an abandoned place, one you'd expect to find a dead body in. People stayed away from those buildings, partly because of the man who owned them, but mostly because of the rumors of odd experiments going on, and figures in the windows. Giant lurking beasts watching you with glowing evil eyes.

The man unlocked the giant door that lead into the warehouse and swung it open, the screeching sound of metal on metal echoing throughout the large empty room. But it wasn't empty.

The man stepped inside and said, "You can come out, you know it's only me."

"You know, someday I'm going to think it's someone else, and then I will kill you."

The man looked around cautiously, he wasn't nervous, but he knew better than to be caught off guard, "Well until that time comes, I have you're newest target."

The symbiote, Carnage, dropped down from a beam above the man, his long tongue snaking through the air, "Fantastic."

The man held up a picture he had taken earlier that day of the woman he wanted on his side, "This is Bradley Sleven, you may know her."

Carnage cocked his head to the side, his tongue running over the picture, "Ah yes, the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She is lovely isn't she?"

"Exquisite." The man said, holding up the photograph for Carnage to take. The symbiote's red hand snaked forward and latched onto it. "I want you to find her and bring her to me." The man said, "I don't care how, but I want her alive. If you kill her our deal is off."

Carnage laughed, the sound reverberating around the room in a chorus of evil symphony, "I know better than to kill my playmate."

"Oh no, she isn't your playmate. The one protecting her is." The man said, "You know who I'm talking about."

"Deadpool." Carnage said, the name like acid in his mouth, "The merc with a mouth. He nearly killed me once." Carnage smiled, "Once."

"If you deliver her to me, _alive_, Deadpool will come." The man said, "What you do with him is not my concern."

"Why do you want her so badly?" Carnage asked.

Norman Osborn smiled thinly, "Because, she is my daughter."

**_Well the bad guy plot wheels are turning, that's a good thing! :O boom! Anyhoo, I want to thank everyone who had read the beginning of my story, and also to those of you who have followed, favorited, and reviewed already! You all are fab!_**

_****I toned Deadpool down a little now, but he still will be loopy, trust me! And to answer NinjaSniperKiller65, yes there most definitely will be romance thrown in here! Deady definitely needs some love. At least I think so! ****_


	3. Chapter 3

It had been all day since Bradley had seen Wade, who had gone off behind Hawkeye and Snake Eyes, practically swooning at the ninja's feet. Bradley had stared after him in awe. He could be so normal one moment, and the next be so deranged. She wondered if he had been like that his entire life. Maybe he'd been through something that messed him up.

She tried to think of different scenarios in her head as she ran on the treadmill aboard the helicarrier. Radioactive slop?

"Hey girl."

Bradley looked to her right to find Natasha Romanoff standing with a hand on her hip. Bradley took her earphones out and smiled, "Hey."

"Hawkeye is pretty distressed." Natasha said, grinning, "I told him to man up."

"Distressed?"

"Wade." Natasha rolled her eyes, "Apparently the guy loves Snake Eyes. He won't shut up."

"Yeah, well, he can feel my pain." Bradley said, not slowing her pace on the treadmill, "What's up? I know you didn't come here to talk about Hawkeye and Wade."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get a few drinks tonight." Natasha said, "It'd be a good stress reliever with the whole Deadpool situation."

Bradley thought about it. She wasn't really a person that favored going out at night, usually preferring to stay in and binge watch Doctor Who or Sherlock on Netflix. The only reason she did go out at night was to keep Natasha happy. Finally she sighed at the sight of Natasha's pleading eyes and said, "Sure, I could use a couple drinks."

"Great!" Natasha smiled, "I'll pick you up at eight."

"Sounds perfect." Bradley said, returning her smile.

"Awesome! Now I have to go make sure Nova doesn't get his head stuck in a bucket. Long story, don't ask." Natasha rolled her eyes and was off, out the door in a flash.

Bradley put her headphones back in and continued her run. When she was finished, she gathered up her things and headed to the 'lobby' to be brought down to the ground. When she arrived, she found Wade wasn't there. Frowning, she looked around the room to make sure he wasn't planning on surprising her, but didn't see anyone in sight. She rounded the corner to the front desk where a short agent with perfectly positioned hair piled on top of her head. She smiled as Bradley approached the desk and said, "How may I help you?"

"Have you seen Wade around here?" Bradley asked.

"From the cameo department? I think he's on vacation actually." The agent said.

"No, Wade Wilson. Deadpool?" Bradley said, "You know, wears black and red spandex. Has two swords named Betty and Lawrence?"

She shook her head, "Um, no sorry Agent Sleven he left an hour ago."

"What?" Bradley asked angrily, mostly out of surprise, "What do you mean an hour ago?"

"That's what my records show."

"Get me Director Fury on the phone." Bradley demanded. The agent looked like she was ready to decline, but thought better of it at Bradley's glare. She quickly dialed the phone and asked for Fury. When he answered she said, "Um, yes, I have a Bradley Sleven here asking for you?" Fury said something and she handed the phone over. Bradley took it and said, "He's gone."

"Yes I know." Fury said, "He's out doing what I asked him to do. You can expect to see him later this evening."

Bradley let out a breath of relief, "Well a little heads up next time would be great!"

"Sorry Sleven." Fury said, and the line disconnected.

She blinked, "Does no one say goodbye anymore?" She handed the agent the phone back and thanked her, before being brought down to land. She paid her usual taxi driver, and he drove her to her apartment. She was walking across the street when Fred's Chimichangas caught her eye. For a moment she actually considered going in, but wrinkled her nose and entered her apartment building.

By the time she showered and fixed herself up, it was almost eight. She slipped into a sleek, form fitting shorter black dress. Natasha always dressed to the nines when they went out, so Bradley felt obligated to. She didn't know why, the guys they met usually couldn't tear their eyes off of Natasha long enough to even realize Bradley was there.

There was a knock at the door and the familiar, "Let's go!" sounded. Bradley smiled, grabbing her small black purse and keys, locking the apartment door behind her after she left. She and Natasha walked arm in arm down the street, which was crowding with the bar crowd. People laughed and stumbled down the street, walking by them obliviously.

They entered a club called the Blue Bird, which was bumping with loud music and a sea of dancing, bobbing people. "Let's get a drink!" Natasha shouted over the music. Bradley opened her purse to grab some cash and groaned, "Shit, Nat I forgot my cash!"

Natasha wrinkled her nose, "So? When there's guys around and you're dressed like we are...you don't need cash."

"I couldn't let them pay for my drinks, they're expensive." Bradley said.

"For once could you lighten up?" Natasha said, moving towards the bar, "They're guys, the only reason they're here is to buy you a drink and try to get in your pants."

"Great." Bradley muttered.

She sat down next to Natasha, who ordered two dry Martinis, "First one's on me." she said, winking. Bradley was about to say thank you, when a dark haired man too handsome for his own good sat down next to her, striking up a conversation. Bradley took the martini from the bartender and sat there listening to the music. After a while, Natasha got up with the man and they set off for the dance floor, leaving her alone.

She sat there for ten minutes, long after finishing her martini, and was about to leave when someone slipped into the seat next to her. She was about to say something snarky to Natasha, when she found it was a man sitting next to her. An actual man. And he was cute!

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and smiled, "Friend ditch you?"

"Is it obvious?" She asked.

He laughed, "Nah, I just took a guess. Need a drink?"

"Uh, sure." Bradley said, remembering what Natasha said, "Dry martini."

"My name is Cage." He said, smiling. There was something off about his smile though, like he was in pain. He twitched once, like he was having a muscle spasm and said, "And you are..."

"Bradley." She smiled.

"You have a beautiful smile." Cage said.

"Thank you." She muttered, not knowing what to say.

His dark eyes ran up and down her body as she turned towards the bar. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair, and his sharp jaw covered in stubble clenched, "You want to get some air?"

Bradley set her martini down, "Sure, it's really hot in here." She followed after him, grateful for the chance to get a breath of fresh air. The club reeked of sweat and cigarets.

Once outside, she sighed in relief, saying, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, I don't really like crowded places when I do this. I prefer the quiet." He said.

Bradley frowned, looking at him in confusion, "What do you mean?"

He suddenly blinked, and his hands shot out, clutching onto her. His eyes were frantic and his face etched in terror. He visibly struggled to speak, trying to tell her something but the words wouldn't come. An icy fear took hold of her, one she'd never felt before. She tried to tear herself from his grip, but it was like iron.

"Listen, let me get my friend, she can help you with whatever's going on." Bradley said, turning to try and get back inside.

He tugged her back around to look straight into her eyes, "Run." He whispered, and let go of her arms. He stumbled backwards, grabbing his head, and started screaming. Bradley watched in horror, knowing she should find Natasha, but it was like her feet were frozen in place.

Cage doubled over, and suddenly something started emanating from his body. A smokey, liquid-like substance floated up into the air, and gradually became solid in front of her eyes. A face stared at her, red with white eyes, it's freakishly large mouth twisting into a savage grin. It detached itself from Cage, who fell, unmoving, to the ground. The thing stepped toward her, reaching out to her with long, twisted fingers. A tongue flicked out of its mouth, licking the air, "Ah yes," it hissed, "I've finally found you."

Suddenly Bradley found the will to move, and she twisted to run to the club door. The thing suddenly was in front of her, moving so fast she didn't even see it. She gasped, skidding to a halt and twisted around to try and run the other way. She kept running and heard the thing laugh behind her, "You can run, but you'll never hide from me, _Bradley_." It said her name like a predator snarled at its prey.

She reached down at her side for her purse where she kept her Beretta, but it wasn't there. She remembered clumsily leaving it in the bar. Cursing herself, she rounded a corner, but found it was a dead end, in which she cursed New York for creating dead end streets.

Turning around to try and make a break for it, she found the thing had already cornered her. "What do you want?" She demanded.

Its tongue flicked through the air as it closed in on her, "You."

"Why?" Her eyes scanned the surrounding area for an escape route, but only found a fire escape, in which whatever the thing was would be on her in a flash. She could only hope Natasha would realize she was gone and think to look for her.

"An esteemed associate of mine would like a word with you." It said, its words dripping with venom.

"Then why doesn't your associate meet me himself without using you as a tool?" She asked, swallowing the fear out of her voice.

"You really wouldn't appreciate him." It said.

"What's your name?"

"It is not your concern." The thing said, and lunged for her. She shrunk down, covering her head with her arms.

"Oh no you don't!"

Her eyes snapped open and she looked up to find Wade swoop down from a rooftop and land on the thing's back. He covered the thing's eyes and rode around on its shoulders as it tried to throw him off.

"Wilson!" It screeched.

"Oh you remember me! I wasn't sure if you would." Wade kicked his feet up onto its shoulders and back flipped off of it, landing next to Bradley, "Sup."

"Wade?" She asked incredulously.

"The one and only."

The thing snarled, looking between the two and said, "You can't protect her forever, Wilson. I will find her."

"I like a good game of hide and seek." Wade shrugged.

The thing took one last glance at them, then launched itself onto the rooftop with a gut wrenching wail.

Bradley turned to Wade, letting all of the pent-up fear out, "What was that thing?"

"Carnage, the symbiote." Wade said, staring off after it.

"Symbiote?" Bradley exclaimed, "What does it want with me?"

"Not it, its associate."

"What?"

"It said its associate wanted you, not it, per say." Wade said, then cocked his head, "Are you alright, you're shaking like a leaf."

"I almost just got killed!"

"Kidnapped, actually." Wade said, holding up a finger.

"I've never actually been targeted before." She said, "I mean, I've shot at things, but I've never really killed anyone before. No one's ever come after me."

"Your life must be really boring."

"This isn't a joke, Wade!" Bradley said, rubbing her bare arms to warm them from the cold.

"I'm sorry." He said, and truly sounded like he meant it, "You should tell Nick first thing tomorrow."

"How did you know I was here?" She asked, watching him as he knelt down to where Carnage had been standing.

"I've been tracking Carnage for a while now." Wade said, "I let him get away once, and now I'm trying to correct that mistake."

"That's the job Fury has you here for?" Bradley asked. She noticed he sounded completely normal, like she was actually holding a normal conversation with him. Maybe when he was in the heat of the moment, he was at his most normal.

Wade nodded, "I'd lost his scent for a couple of months when Fury got word from someone that Carnage may be in town. I came as soon as I heard."

The wind blew, making her shiver. Wade stood and turned his face toward her, "Natasha told me to tell you she went home. She looked pretty angry and said something about all guys being the same."

Bradley rolled her eyes, momentarily forgetting the situation, "It's the same thing every night. And you were at the club?"

"Isn't she with Hawkeye?" He asked, "And yes, I came because I felt like there was trouble in this part of the town."

"They're not saying that they're in a relationship because they're colleagues." Bradley said, "But everyone knows so I don't see what the point is."

"That's complicated." Wade muttered.

Bradley shook her head, "Great, now I have to call a cab."

"Why?"

"I'm not walking home by myself!"

Wade sighed, "Well, since one in every thousand cab driver is a murderer, I feel obligated to walk you home. Especially since we're roomies."

"Then let's go home, roomy, it's been a rough night." Bradley said, taking his arm.

"Do you still have those cheesy puffs?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think...maybe I could...have some?"

"I suppose I can allow that." Bradley said, shooting him a smile, "Only if you'll watch Doctor Who with me."

"Only if you think David Tennant is the one and only Doctor."

"Where have you been all my life?" Bradley asked, grinning, "And Rose Tyler is the only woman for the Doctor."

"Yes." Wade said, slumping his shoulders, "I cried myself to sleep after she got trapped in the parallel universe!"

"Finally, someone who understands." Bradley said, and before no time they were at the apartment, still in a compelling conversation about Doctor Who.

When they got inside, Wade stopped Bradley in the doorway. She could tell the light mood about him had changed to seriousness in two seconds flat. His body was rigid and his muscles were coiled under his suit, ready to attack if need be.

"What is it?" She whispered, holding up a bat behind him.

He turned around and did a double take, "Where'd you get the bat?"

"I always keep one behind my door."

"Something's not right, stay here." He said, stepping forward. She crept with him, but he stopped, making her run into him, "Ouch!"

"I said stay here!" He exclaimed.

"It's _my_ apartment!"

"Yeah, well, we see how well you handled Carnage before." Wade muttered.

"I was unarmed!" She argued, "Wait, before? He's here?"

"I don't know yet, so stay. Here." He grabbed her shoulders and put her in the spot he wanted her to stay in. She sighed and rolled her eyes, watching him creep into the apartment. She bit her lip and tip toed across the floor and followed him in the living room.

He glanced behind him and threw up his hands, but didn't say a word. They were in the living room, Wade with a sword drawn and brass knuckles clenched in the other hand, Bradley with her bat. She eyed a knife in his belt and swiped it out of its sheath. He immediately turned around and took the knife out of her hand, putting it back into its spot. He cocked his head, and she imagined he had a glare. "What?" she mouthed.

They continued through the apartment, when Bradley stepped on something soft, and a shrill wail pierced the apartment. Bradley jumped and wrapped her arms around Wade's waist, holding out the bat in front of him. Wade flipped on the light, and a black cat slinked itself around the corner, rubbing its back on the wall. Wade looked down at her, and she could almost feel the glare of stupidity she was receiving. She grinned apologetically and unwrapped herself from around him, "He comes from the neighbor's house because he doesn't like them." she whispered.

She and Wade cleared the apartment, finding not a trace of anyone being there. Everything was still where she had put it, and nothing was out of place. Wade scratched his head, "Weird. My Deady-sense usually isn't wrong."

"Deady-sense?"

"Yeah, like Spidey-sense only cooler."

"Well, looks like this time you're wrong." She said, twirling her bat. Wade looked past her and crossed his arms, "Or not."

She turned around and saw a folded piece of paper sitting on her bookshelf with her name scribbled on it. She looked at him, and then opened the paper.

_I'll be seeing you soon, Bradley._

"Who are you?" She asked to no one in particular.

Wade, who was standing centimeters behind her, snatched the note out of her hand. He sniffed it, rolled up his mask, and licked it, "Definitely doesn't taste very good, but..."

"But what?"

"It's good paper. Fancy paper." He said.

"Which means?"

"Whoever wants you is rich." Wade shrugged.

"And that helps us how? Half of New York is rich." Bradley said, crossing her arms.

"No, no. This paper is really rare, like...you have to order it." Wade said, "It only comes from one place."

"How can paper be rare?"

"It's made out of some secret stuff that only the paper-makers know." Wade shrugged, "I'm not a paper-maker so I don't know what they put in it, so don't ask."

"Sounds like a scam to me." Bradley muttered, "How do you know what kind of paper it is by licking it? How do you even know it's rare paper?"

"A merc never shares his secrets." Wade said, "But I may or may not have been very into origami."

Bradley humphed and strode to the couch, where she flopped onto her back, "I'm exhausted."

"Does that mean we're not watching Doctor Who?"

"What would some rich guy want with me anyway?" Bradley asked.

"Cause I really wanted to watch Doctor Who."

"I don't even know any rich people!"

"David Tennant's hair is calling my name."

"Can you focus for two seconds?" Bradley groaned.

"But," Wade whispered, "his hair is magical."

Bradley snapped her fingers in his face, "Hey! Rich people. Rare paper. What do they have in common?"

Wade put a finger to his chin, thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers, "I got it!"

"What?" Bradley asked, sitting up on the couch.

"They're really into origami." Wade said.

"I can't believe I even asked you." Bradley muttered.

"Well," Wade said, scooting Bradley over on the couch to plop down next to her, "we'll talk to Nick tomorrow. He'll know what to do about it. As for now, we watch Doctor Who."

Bradley rolled her eyes and handed him the remote, "Here, put on Netflix. I'm going to change into something comfortable."

"I'll start without you." He warned.

"I'll be fast." She shot back as she left to enter her bedroom. She sat down on her bed and sighed, trying to process everything that had happened. She had almost been kidnapped by a symbiote. A symbiote! If Wade hadn't shown up, she didn't know where she would be that night. She realized she hadn't even gone back to see if Cage was alright, if Cage was really even his name.

She thought about telling Wade to go back and see if he was alright, but she didn't want to be alone. She may be an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., but when she alone was the target, it was nerve-racking. Wade was the one who had saved her life, and she knew he could do it again.

Wade.

He had been completely normal that night. Of course he had a few crackpot things to say, but who didn't? She actually had gotten along with him that night, and if he kept this attitude up, she wouldn't mind him staying the rest of the week. She thought she was even beginning to like him.

"The Cybermen are back!" Wade cried from the living room, making Bradley smile. She quickly wiggled out of her dress and jumped into a pair of baggy grey sweatpants she had stolen from her male neighbor's laundry basket in the laundry room, and slipped a black tank top on over her head.

When she came back out into the living room, Wade had his feet propped up on the coffee table, his mask pulled up over his nose so he could eat cheesy puffs, and the black cat was curled up on his lap. Wade stuffed a handful of cheesy puffs into his mouth and said, "This is a good episode."

She sat down next to him, taking a handful of cheesy puffs. They sat on the couch for the rest of the night, watching Doctor Who and talking about different places Wade had been. He pointed out all the places in the episodes and told the story that went with them. Bradley listened curiously, and found that he wasn't such a bad guy. He was annoying, sure, but interesting, and Bradley found herself listening to his stories until finally she was able to fall into a peaceful sleep.

_**Eeeeeh, sorry for the wait guys! With college coming to a close and finals week getting closer I didn't really have the time to get anymore chapters in. But college is done now, finals week is over, and I passed all my classes! So with that being said, I'll be pretty busy with work and whatnot, but I'll try my hardest to get more chapters up, because I have big ideas that I'm really excited about for this story!**_

_** Also, I'm finally going to go see Godzilla tomorrow! When I was little the 1998 Godzilla blew my mind because at the time I loved dinosaurs. I realize now that that version of Godzilla sucked, but I still like it as a movie. Anyhoo, has anyone seen it yet? If you have leave your opinion, and please NO SPOILERS! **_


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